37 Things I Learned by the Time I Turned 37
Inspired by the beautiful Molly Guy of Stone Fox Bride who recently shared her own 40 lessons I’ve sat down to write my own birthday list. So, in no particular order, here are the things I’ve learned and embrace today:
You look for a sense of purpose in your life, but the purpose of life is living. Live it fully and truthfully and you will find its meaning.
We are born into this world essentially perfect and all knowing. It’s growing, being schooled and socialized that makes us unlearn it all. Connecting to the child in us leads us back to our essence.
Happiness, like love, is a choice. You need to commit to it everyday.
You’ll think that you won’t be able to breath if he ever leaves you, but when he breaks your heart you’ll discover the strength you thought was his was only yours projected onto him. Claim and own your power.
Respect yourself. That’s a biggie and a hard one to learn.
How you start your day influences your day, but also your life. Make mornings special, whether you skip breakfast or not. Start with a large cup of hot water, a stretch (and a kiss).
Write handwritten thank you notes. Offer compliments. Smile to the beggar. Ask the lonely kid to dance. Give your place to the pregnant woman or the lady with the pram. Say I love you.
Hug a tree. At least once. But pick your tree wisely. Stand with your eyes closed. If it pulls you towards it, it’s not for you. If it pushes you away, thank it for the energy it is gifting you.
Less is more. Always. Whether things, words, make up. When you live out of suitcase for a year, all those things that were in storage and that you thought you needed, you didn’t.
When you write, read it out loud. Write it once, edit it twice.
Watch what words you speak or write. The universe is listening, manifestation is easy. When you said you wanted a big man you didn’t say big and not married. But when you refined you got the big kind quirky guy you were longing for.
Kindness, just like grumpiness and unkindness, is contagious. So always choose kindness.
Go for the secret wedding, one with a handful of witnesses — your closest and mostest. Save yourself the stress, the money. Use the money for a trip instead.
You have more influence than you think. How you vote, what you do, how you spend your time and your money influences the world. As the wise man said, when you shine you “unconciously give other people the permission to do the same”.
Be your own guru. No matter how many self-help books you read, coaching sessions, therapists you see, it’s just as Socrates said, the answer you are looking for is within you.
Eat all the colors of the rainbow. Thank you Sherie for the easiest health tip ever!
Cow’s milk ain’t good for you. No matter what people say. Your body has been telling you but you haven’t listened. And so it’s adapted. But when you do give your body the break, you’ll feel it. No more bloating, no back pain, no skin problems.
Wear sexy underwear. That, and bright lipstick, is the easiest way to feel good.
When you change your boyfriend, dump your underwear, spoil yourself and get some new. And if the heartache is bad, burn the old pairs of knickers with the letter you wrote him but will never send.
When he leaves you, it’s always for another woman. But when you get over him it’s always with another man. We all need a rebound guy. Don’t think the rebound guy is anything but that, no matter how wonderful he is or how much he loves you.
Good friends last a lifetime. Even if you loose sight of each other, for a time or for years, the bond remains. One day, they’ll send a note, you’ll bump into them in the street, it will be just as if you were with them yesterday.
Friendship amongst women is the most powerful kind. You may have grown up a tomboy, the sisterhood you’ll discover well into your twenties will change the world.
Life repeats itself until you learn the lesson.
Don’t overpluck your eyebrows or lose your virginity cause everyone else is doing it. Neither is cool or will make you feel better about yourself.
Don’t diss your boss. The (work) world is a small place, your paths will certainly cross again and they’ll kindly write the recommendation letter you need or hire you for the high paying freelance job.
Don’t listen to other people’s advice on parenting. Don’t read the sleep training books. Do it your way, you’ll find out what that is as you go, you are the best parent your child needs.
There’s never the perfect time. So when you meet the guy you know you want to have babies with, and he’s wants to someday too, forget finding the appartement, having the stable job — stop the pill and start practicing.
Learn Mythology. Its heros and symbols will connect you to the collective subconscious, to the wisdom of all humanity.
When in doubt, watch Star Wars.
Ditch the life plan. Life has its own one for you. It’s way better. The Universe has got your back.
In astrology, know your moon sign. If your star sign is your yang, your moon sign is your yin. Knowing your shadow is revealing. Like the combination of your star, moon and ascendant sign. The latter infleunces the other two and gains power with age.
Old age is a lot like newborn age. Dealing with the elderly or young, you’ll need patience, compassion, respect. Words don’t serve you well. It’s what you do and how you make them feel that matters.
Death is alot like being born — the silence, the emotion, the presence, the hardship, the love. It’s all there, in the passage.
Grief never goes away but it does get easier with time. You’ll learn to make sense of the world without them. You’ll filter your relationships based on how they acknoweldged your pain. You will forever be grateful for who found the ways and the words, for the gift of life.
Forgiveness is powerful. When you offer it, even if it’s not been asked, you free yourself from the pain. Say Hoponopono three times with an open heart and let it go.
You know what your soul’s deepest desire is. Whether it’s writing that book, travelling the world, having a baby, focus on that. The rest will fall into place.
Always blow your birthday candles, throw the coin into the fountain, rub the statue, make the wish. Because wishes do come true.
Posted originally on Medium in March 2017.